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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
aniquotes
aniquotes

“❮Parasitism is a limiting choice. The Yoort moved violently to conquer other species and infest them, but this was not profitable, not in the long haul. So the Yoort used biological engineering techniques to design and create a species specifically to be a symbiote.❯ ❮Who cares how you did it?❯ Tobias argued. ❮So you build the Isk and then enslave them.❯ ❮No, no,❯ Guide pleaded, whining away through his diaphragm. ❮The Isk were true symbiotes. The Isk cannot live without the Yoort. And to ensure that this symbiosis would be real, the Yoort, too, were modified. Now Yoort cannot live without Isk and Isk cannot live without Yoort. They are one creature with two parts.❯ Dead silence. No one said a thing. The reality of it was sinking slowly into our suspicious brains. ‘Oh, my God,’ Cassie said at last. 'Of course. It’s the way. The only way. Parasite becomes symbiote. No more infestation. They create the next step in their own evolution and become true symbiotes.’ 'No more war,’ Erek said quietly. 'No more need to conquer new species, to infest and enslave.’ 'The Yeerks don’t know about this,’ Cassie said. 'Even the Yeerks who want peace cannot imagine a way out, a way to end the cycle of conquest.’ ❮These Yoort could be related to the Yeerks,❯ Ax said. ❮They may be the same species, somehow separated long ago, perhaps carried from the Yeerk home world by some forgotten race.❯ ❮If the Yeerks knew…if the Iskoort ever made contact with the Yeerks…❯ Tobias said. This was why Crayak had to destroy the Iskoort. And why the Ellimist couldn’t allow it. Someday, maybe far in the future, Iskoort would meet Yeerks. And the Yeerks would see that there was another way.”

— Book #26: The Attack (Jake), pg. 94 (by K.A. Applegate)

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aniquotes

“<Sir, may I introduce this human named Jake?>

<I said I need you. Now stand to attention and listen to my ->

<Sir, this is Jake. My prince.>

That stopped Galuit in mid-yell. The guards all stared incredulously at Prince Jake. Then at me. Then at Marco and Cassie, as if they might be able to explain.

<Every warrior must have a prince to follow, and the princes must obey the People,> I said.

Galuit looked like he was seriously considering using his old tail on me. But then he nodded stiffly. <Just so, Aristh. No one is a law unto themselves. We each must serve.>

Galuit turned to speak to Prince Jake. <I have need of you to save this planet from the Yeerks. Will you ->

<Yes,> Prince Jake said.

<You say yes without knowing what I’m asking.>

<Will it save the Leerans? Will it keep them free? And most of all, will it hurt the Yeerks?>

<Yes to all three. Especially the last. If we save Leera it may turn the tide of the war against the Yeerks.>

<Then we’ll do it.>

Galuit seemed surprised. Maybe even impressed. In private thought-speak he said to me, <I have known worse princes than this one.>”

- Book #18: The Decision (Ax), pg. 132 (by K.A. Applegate)

enoughtohold
swordlesbianism

Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches?

swordlesbianism

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU NECROMANCY A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND IT TURNS INTO AN ENTIRE PILE OF LIMES?

swordlesbianism

What if I accidentally necromancy a vaccine and then someone gets an armful of very live pathogen?

swordlesbianism

WHAT’S THE LIMIT ON DEADNESS? HOW RECENTLY DOES SOMETHING HAVE TO BE DEAD? COULD I NECROMANCY A DINOSAUR FOSSIL? WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED THE GROUND AND THEN DINOSAURS STARTED APPEARING?

swordlesbianism

WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED A LIMESTONE WALL AND IT JUST TURNED INTO A PILE OF MOLLUSCS? WHAT IF I MOLLUSCED A BUILDING? A MOUNTAIN?

grednforgesgirl

Hey OP are you okay

swordlesbianism

no

Source: swordlesbianism
aniquotes
aniquotes

“Humans may be technologically primitive, but they have created buttered popcorn, the Snickers bar, chili, and cigarette butts. (Although humans themselves become very upset by the idea of eating cigarette butts.) And let us not forget: Humans, for all their faults, have created the cinnamon bun.”

- Ax, Book #18: The Decision, pg. 37 (by K.A. Applegate)

aniquotes
aniquotes

“Dad looked at me for a long time. I can’t bear to describe the expression on his face.

He was looking at me like I was the enemy. Like he suddenly understood that evil existed not just in the world, not just in his own backyard, but in his very own kid. His very own flesh and blood.

‘Please tell me I misunderstood,’ he said. 'Please tell me you haven’t actually convinced disabled children to participate in this nightmare.’

Jake spoke. 'We had no choice.’

'There’s always a choice,’ my father said angrily. 'Jake, I thought you knew that. Where’s the boy I used to know? The boy who was so clear on right and wrong.’

I wondered the same thing.

Jake wasn’t Jake anymore. His eyes were harder. Maybe his heart, too. And I didn’t like the look that came over his face now.

It was the look that Rachel got when she was determined to win no matter what. It was the look Tobias got when he was closing in on a mouse.

'We’ll wait for you over there,’ Jake told me. He didn’t answer my father. He just led Toby and the others away.

Even Jake’s back looked different. Straighter. More unyielding.

Jake, the Jake I knew, was going away. And I didn’t know how to get him back.”

- Book #50: The Ultimate (Cassie), pg. 99 (by K.A. Applegate)

tomato-greens
unpretty

when i saw the headline ‘golf digest helps free man from prison’ i thought it was gonna be, like

“he’s clearly in the background of this golf photo! that proves he wasn’t at the crime scene!!”

as opposed to, like

“this guy in prison sent us his cool golf fanart but we didn’t want to promo a serial killer, so we looked into his case and thought it looked pretty flimsy and probably racially motivated”

(here’s the first article from 2012 and the followup)

solitarelee

this was a fucking wild ride in a GOLF MAGAZINE

bemusedlybespectacled

“It’s embarrassing for the legal system that for a long time the best presentation of the investigation was from a golf magazine.” OH MY GOD

Source: unpretty
aniquotes
aniquotes

“'And by the way, Alloran, thanks for standing up for Ax. And all of us.’

Alloran turned his main eyes to me. He gave me a strange look. <I never hoped to be free again. You freed me. I have done what I have done in my life. I am what I am, though I may have gained at least some wisdom through the years of enslavement to Visser One. Just the same, I will always be Alloran, the Butcher of Hork-Bajir. Alloran, the only Andalite to be taken alive by the Yeerks. But, disgraced, even despised, for whatever I am worth, I am yours to command.>

The speech was delivered in a low thought-speak tone, all emotion severely controlled. But then Alloran whipped his tail blade over his head, so fast it cracked like a whip. He smiled the subtle Andalite smile and yelled, <Do you know who did that? Do you know who moved my tail? I did. I did. I did it.>

I smiled, but more for him than for me. If he would forever be the Butcher of Hork-Bajir, what would my name be?”

- Book #54: The Beginning (Jake), pg. 56 (by K.A. Applegate)